Week 10 – How To Change Your Past and TRUE FORGIVENESS
Catchy title … and who knew that you can change something that has already happened. Isn’t the past done already? Concrete and set in stone? And I am not talking about time travel, well maybe but in a different kind of way! Let me explain…. It`s all came to me in this weeks sit. I was trying to concentrate on my colorful box with a cone which was much harder for me to focus on then previous weeks exercises. There is something about switching colors that needed more intense focus and mental power. My mind does wonder and I do my best to bring it back. I could feel that I was near the end of my sit so I let my thoughts go to my PPN`s of True Health. I wanted the energy and vitality of my youth so I was thinking of the time when I was 9 years old and when I used to play with my friends in my old backyard. As I was playing in my vision running around and being happy I noticed my mother standing by the sidelines. I ran over to her and she knelt down to my level and I placed my little arms around her and said to her “I forgive you. I love you!“.
As soon as I said those words the tears just started coming. I visualized the same thing with my father and I had the feeling of something inside of me beginning to shift. I was complete crying mess by this point.
You see, two years ago my children and I had experienced something not so good. My kids where not doing well at school and I was pursuing avenues to help them. That led to parenting books and courses and those led to huge revelations of childhood development and how children thrive emotionally within their environment. Children`s brains develop differently under stress whether physical, emotional, environmental and they are considerably smaller than a normally developed child.
Light bulbs started going of in my head about why I was the way I was. I saw how harmful my parents had been to me. I was a way better parent than my parents had been, but I still had a lot to learn. For me, before learning these parenting skills I thought everybody had so much hate and conflict within their family.
My kids got past their difficulties at with school and emotionally because I was there to help them. I did a lot for them. In the back of my mind I had wanted someone to do that for me when I was younger. So then I did not have to go through my younger years with the word “victim“ stamped on my forehead. To be left powerless and to be hurt over and over again. I attempted suicide 3 times and wished for death every night for years. Life was very cruel in those days. I needed someone to be on my side and there was no one. Those where my teen years and thankfully I found a passion that kept me engaged so I did not have to entertain those kind of thoughts anymore.
(for those that have loved ones going through emotional hurts, redirecting negative feelings into a passion and a sense of mastery is what builds someone out of a depressive state).
So going back to my sit. One of the Laws of the Mind is Forgiveness. I know in my head that I had to forgive but my heart was still clinging to those old wounds. The Bible says `forgive and you shall be forgiven`. But they don`t say HOW. Just letting go is not enough. Focusing on positives is not enough, reading cute little quotes about forgiveness is not enough. Until my sit and I was visualizing myself as a CHILD forgiving my parents. It was the CHILD in me that was hurt and in pain and it was the CHILD that needed to forgive. As we where taught in MKMMA that we see our future self as strangers, I could not forgive my parents as an adult because they did not hurt me as an adult, they hurt me as a CHILD.
In MKMMA we visualize ourselves as our future selves and manifesting what our heart desires. IT MAKES SENSE to visualize our past selves to let go of the hurts that stick. The ones our head knows to let go but the heart says “ìm keeping this pain“`. I did not visualize myself reliving this pain. I just visualized me forgiving my parents and changing my emotional state to liberty and forgave them. I was set free!In part 9 Hanaal writes
“the positive thought will destroy the negative as certainly as light destroys darkness, and the results will be just as effectual. “
I relived myself taking control of power. In part 10:2 Hanaal writes a brief sentence that stuck with me
“Events are significant only as they affect power“
As victims are weak and entertain weak thoughts and have little power….It becomes a personality and a way of life. Our lives are the result and the sum of the total of our thoughts. And remember that victim stamp on my forehead? Well it is no longer there. It is replaced with “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.”
Immediately after my sit I felt set free. The past is no longer concrete and set in stone. I can change it. I can change the feelings I have to people and events through visualization. I can visualize myself doing my past behaviours differently in a positive manner. I forgive and love. And now my actions will reflect these positive thoughts. The cycle has been broken. And most of all “ From this moment all hate is let from my veins for I have no time to hate, only time to love.“ In my mind I changed my past. I am not the sum of my yesterdays but I am the sum of what I create with the power of my mind.
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